Christmas Gifts for the Royals

Christmas is right around the corner – have you picked out a gift for your favorite royal? If not, no worries! I’ve compiled a list of the perfect presents to give the royal family this year. In keeping with the Sandringham tradition of gifting smaller items, all of these can be purchased rather cheaply.

Queen Elizabeth II

Who can forget Her Majesty’s infamous ride in a Range Rover through Balmoral wearing a hood? Now, instead of a dainty silk scarf, she can really ride dirty through the estate.

Prince Phillip

The Duke of Edinburgh is without a doubt the comedian of the family, and he must be quite proud to be married to the best Bond girl ever. One can only imagine the side commentary during the opening ceremony of the Olympics.

Prince Charles

Word on the street is that DJ Charlie W is hoping his music career really takes off in 2013 after his smashing performance in Toronto this summer. If he wants to spin on the ones and twos with the best of the best, he’s got to rep his country on his DJ equipment like the one and only DJ Pauly D..

The Duchess of Cornwall

Camilla is never the type to shy away from a fun fascinator, she’s had some really…interesting headgear through the years. Now, she doesn’t need to wait to enjoy gin o’clock until she gets home, she can do so during parades, races, church services or charitable engagements with the flask fascinator!

Prince William

If you’ve been following the media blitz surrounding Kate’s acute morning sickness, you would know that her Hyperemesis Gravidarum diagnosis obviously means she’s having twins. Way to go, Wills.

The Duchess of Cambridge

Everyone is expecting Kate to be the most fashionable pregnant woman the world has ever seen, which only means one thing – she needs to borrow Joey Tribiani’s Thanksgiving pants. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you must watch it.

You should also get her this card to go with the pants..

Prince Harry

You might want to stay away from purchasing Captain Wales a ticket to Vegas to welcome him home from Afghanistan the same way he left, but that doesn’t mean you still can’t have some fun with him. These crown jewels boxers from gin-oclock.com are just what he needs – they will keep him covered up yet still good for a few laughs.

Okay, clearly this is a joke list of gifts. If you can’t have fun with the royals at Christmas, when can you, eh?

Confession: I Miss Prince Harry

Prince Harry is not even halfway through his deployment yet and I am already missing regular updates from @HWalesWatch. And no, I am not counting the stories on his Vegas party companion getting thrown in jail or Harry’s Pippa filled storytime at Camp Bastion as news.

Okay, if I’m being honest I mostly miss the white pants and sharp navy blue suits..

To cope with Prince Hottie withdrawals, I decided to reflect on the top ten reasons to love the 28-year-old royal…in no particular order.

1. He is currently fighting for his country in Afghanistan..flying deadly helicopters. He could have used his title to get thrown on a desk job back in the UK, but no.. Captain Wales wanted to be out on the front lines with his men, shooting down bad guys. HOT.

2. Not only is he good with kids, but he devotes a lot of his time to being there for children in need. Oh, and let’s not forget looking after the bridesmaids and page boys during the royal wedding – don’t forget to wave kids!

3. He is charitable. Not just sit behind a desk and donate tons of money charitable – he gets out there and he fights for the causes he believes in. He trekked to the North Pole with Walking With The Wounded. He established his own charity, Sentebale, aiming to positively change the the lives of vulnerable children in Lesotho.

4. He knows how to have a good time. Don’t think this one needs further explanation.

5. Harry has an edge. Motorcycles, breaking the royal rules of engagement, partying like there’s no tomorrow..c’mon ladies, you all know you like a bad boy.

6. In case you needed a reminder – he is a PRINCE. Of course that is not a reason to love someone, but let’s be honest.. it’s a factor.

7. The name ‘Prince Hottie’ did not appear out of thin air.. he’s the best looking redhead on the planet.

8. His sporting prowess is not limited to rocking white pants on the polo field. Aside from being an all-star polo player, he enjoys rugby, futbol..he’s even gotten down and dirty on the volleyball court. Although he could use some help with basketball.

9. The “H” in Harry probably stands for hysterical. From messing with the paparazzi on his first day of kindergarten “Dude of Cambridge” joke at his brother’s wedding, H could double for a stand-up comedian.

10. The youngest son of Prince Charles and Princess Diana is a family man. His bond with brother, Prince William, is beyond adorable and he immediately accepted Kate as if she were his actual sister.

Here’s hoping Captain Wales is off kicking some serious Taliban tail in Afghanistan.. we all look forward to an influx of white pants and parties upon his return.

Do you miss your daily dose of Harry? What do you love most about the prince? Leave some comments!

Prince Harry Takes on the Taliban

In case you have been living under a royal rock, it was announced this morning that Prince Harry has landed in Afghanistan for his second tour of duty. The 27-year-old Apache helicopter pilot (and third in line to the throne), has abandoned the comfort of Kensington Palace for the next four months to call Camp Bastion in the Helmand province his temporary home.

 Although Harry’s stint on enemy soil was cut short four years ago after news of his whereabouts was leaked, there is clearly no media blackout this time around. After being named the best co-pilot gunner in his class this February, Harry enters this round fighting against the terrorists on a different playing field. The young royal will be flying high in the sky most of the time, but here’s hoping that when he’s wandering around celebrating his 28th birthday next week he covers that red hair with a helmet and has perfected his American accent.

Now Harry’s headline-grabbing Las Vegas getaway makes a little more sense – clearly a pre-deployment blow-out with his bros. I realize I have yet to address the scandalous Sin City antics on my blog…that is on purpose and I intend to keep it that way. But I will say this – to those of you who think this deployment is a form of punishment, an exile to the enemy, you’re a little nuts. It has been discussed for quite some time that he would go back this year/early next, the exact date was just a question mark. Furthermore, the army does not operate like that.

As Ingrid Seward said on Good Morning America this morning, “It’s Harry the hero, not Harry the playboy Prince.”

Thoughts and prayers are with my favorite royal over the next four months. Now, after Will & Kate’s tour what ever will I do for material? Think it’s time to start filling out those Reiss dresses Kate..if you know what I mean. #royalbabywatch

 Kick some terrorist butt, H!

Dreams Do Come True!

Oh wait, I take that back…if this were a dream come true, I would have been there.

In case you’ve been living under a rock, Ryan Lochte and Prince Harry hit Vegas this past weekend, completely throwing off the universal hotness equilibrium. Surely the two of them in the same place must have been illegal – right? Just. Not. Fair.

Getty

After the lack of photos when my two favorite guys attended the gold medal beach volleyball match at London 2012, I was not too hopeful for any excitement to come out of the Sin City celebrations. 

This next line is proof that when you stop looking for something, you will find it..

Prince Harry challenged Ryan Lochte to a swimming race. 

The New York Daily News has the video to prove it.

First racing on dry land with Bolt, then in the pool with Lochte? Harry has officially begun his gold medal campaign for Rio 2016.

At 3:00 a.m. a fully clothed Olympian and a half-dressed Prince took to the waters of the Wynn Hotel’s XS Nightclub Pool. Personally, I could have done without the shirt on Lochte.

Next time boys, come to the Jersey Shore. We have a slew of blondes for Prince Hottie to ogle and plenty of pools for Ryan Loch-te on my heart to pee in. In fact, I have a pool in my backyard…t-shirts not permitted.

And no, I am not neighbors of Snooki and The Situation. Just what we need, Mike Sorrentino and Ryan Lochte comparing ab workouts.

MTV

No question – Ryan FTW.

Although my invitation to these gatherings seems to keep getting lost in the mail, (is there someone I can call about that?) the lovely @RoyalForumMoron had hers signed, sealed and delivered. Maybe she received my invite by mistake, because she bumped into the gold medalist not once, not twice, but five times. Be sure to check out her Twitter page for enviable updates!

Oh, and I played MASH with my coworkers today (yes I realize I am 24-years-old), and this was the outcome:

As the inner high schooler in you knows, the outcome of MASH dictates real life. So, thanks for the quickie wedding Ryan..sorry about the divorce.