In case you’ve been living under a crater-sized rock, it was announced earlier this week that Prince Harry and Cressida Bonas have split after nearly two years of dating. The perfectly timed news came out on the day Harry’s older brother celebrated his three-year wedding anniversary, and just days before he came to America for friend Guy Pelly’s wedding. Yes, you read that correctly – Prince Harry is on American soil. Memphis to be exact. Well, after a quick stop for some single-guy fun in Miami.
Now, I’m not 100% convinced this break-up is for real. Although, I could totally foresee Ross/Rachel situation happening when H gets back to London after this weekend…
C: I can’t believe you hooked up with the Xerox girl at the Memphis Kinkos!!! How could you?!
H: WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
Like I said, my money is still on an engagement by the end of the year, but in the event that I’m wrong and this amicable separation is the real deal, Prince Harry should DEFINITELY date a brunette next. To ease him out of the blondes phase, maybe a light brunette…?
5 Reasons Prince Harry’s Next Girlfriend Should Be a Brunette:
1. Isn’t’ it obvious? Blondes clearly aren’t working for you, Harry. Chelsy, Cressida… wait, maybe it’s just the letter C you should stay away from? Nah, it’s the blondes.
2. Numbers don’t lie. A 2013 survey found that six out of ten men (58 percent) say brunettes are better in bed. Blondes? 16 percent.
3. Brunettes make better wives. Again, it’s down to the math people! A survey conducted by Superdrug associated “wife-like” attributes with brunettes more than any other hair color. These include being “deeper” and “more sensible” than blondes, as well as being better with money, are better cooks, better at cleaning and take better care of their appearance. Wait, do men want a brunette or a woman from the 1950’s?
4. James Bond prefers brunettes. If it’s good enough for the Bond, it’s good enough for the fourth-in-line.
5. I’m a Brunette.
Blondes have more fun, eh? Come on over to the dark side, Your Royal Highness.. we just want you to be happy! Honestly, no matter what her hair color. But, seriously…science and math don’t lie!
Keep Calm and Harry On 